Now, most people (not all but most I've spoken with) agree with me that under most any circumstances, Xellos is most assuredly the one in control, even if he allows others to believe otherwise. He's a puppetmaster. He likes being in control, not just of himself but all those around him. He's definitely a true dominant, through and through.

...and yet...

...yet...

He's not. He's a hard one to define. I suppose he might technically be a Switch, but that's not exactly true. Being a Switch implies that someone might submit to someone they'd also Dom. That...I can't see. I don't see Xellos as viewing himself as having an equal. Everyone is either above or below him. Some may come close, but no one actually *IS* his equal. If he's above them, he's always the one in control.

But he's also a character who would be -- and is -- very submissive to anyone above him in the Mazoku chain of command. I suppose that's something of a 'duh' there, but it never actually occured to me before, not quite in that context. Xellos is utterly devoted to and obedient toward Zelas, and by default, those above Zelas. It hit me just how true this is when I saw a fanart [link] by ~bgeezus the other day. I've been mulling this over in my head for a while now. It struck me as very IC for Xellos, yet you can likely tell from my artwork that I veiw him very much as a true Dominant, not submissive in the slightest.

But in this instance, it's Shabby who he's actually submitting to. And Shabrangido is definitely above him, even above Zelas. Xellos could be the poster child for the Mazoku race for what a Mazoku is and ought to aspire to be, in terms of a servant. He was aggressive toward Gaav because as far as he was concerned, Gaav was a traitor, and therefore not one of them, and not the slightest bit worthy. Canonically, he does despise Phibrizzo, but he followed orders. However, his loyalty is first, last, and always to Zelas, so her own orders took precedence over Phibby's (the reason why he was also investigating everything on his own time, as he indicated to Gaav in NEXT.)

Xellos isn't a Switch. He perceives no one to be his exact equal, and there is no one he dominates who he would submit to, under regular conditions. (irregular conditions would be, for example, Lina. Normally, no. But when LoN herself was possessing Lina, ohhellyes.) But he is both a true Dom and a true sub at the same time. Juxtaposition and paradox.

Damn, I love this character. ^_^

Your attention please! Yet another victim newcomer has been assimilated joined !

drumroll, please! Please to ~ beccastareyes ^_^


(Feb 22) If you like Vision of Escaflowne and The Slayers, may I direct your attention over to the lovely, shiny ~unoriginalchaos? She's finally getting around to doing something with her dA account, and is uploading her pretty, shiny, nifty artwork.

One of my favorites is one she did for me for Christmas '03, set in an RPG we're in, with an OC of mine, and Celena Schezar of Escaflowne: [link] Go see and appreciate the shiny. ^_^

Her icon is something I put together as a surprise for her using an icon she made for over on LiveJournal.


Go welcome her to ! ^_^

Are signatures disabled or what? ::kicks...something!:: the FAQ says avatar usage in sigs is disabled, fine. They give an alternate means, fine. I try to enable signatures to include clubbage membership the way they request... not fine. ::kicks!::

I might as well write up about this since as I've said, I'm a writer, even in my drawing. My muse tells stories, and I'll be uploading a pic in a few days that I've done in the past wich is a story being told.

Imagine if you will what being in Filia's shoes is like. You're not quite fully an adult, just a teenager, and you've never questioned the answers given to anything in your life. Black is black and white is white. You're assured of who you are, what you are, and your place in the world. You have very little questions, and many, many answers.

Then you find out everything's a lie. Your family? You've discovered you're expendable to them. All the beliefs and values they've instilled in you? Lies. So many lies all tangled up within one another, how can you possibly begin to tell where the truth begins, if there's any truth at all? And to top it off, every last one of them dies before you can even ask them why, let alone get any sense of closure.

You've never really had to worry about anything before. Where would your clothes come from? What about soap? A roof over your head and food on the table? You've never had to worry about your basic needs, and you have only a vague idea of what goes into running a household. And now, abruptly, you find yourself alone and forced to find out, not just for yourself but for a child you've adopted, someone orphaned by the deeds and lies of your family.

You know nothing of raising a child, and your purse is a bit light. You have a couple friends to help out, but it's still difficult. You know your first objective is to try to get enough money to buy a place to live; inns are expensive, after all, and once you have a stationary place, you can try to sell some crafts you know you can make. Even if you get a windfall and get a decent deal on a house that's mostly furnished when an old widow moves out to live with her son's family, you're still not out of the woods.

It costs money to set up a shop. Food costs money. Your dress has become a bit worn from all the traveling, and so have your boots. Can you afford new clothes? Do you even know how to sew your own? You can't exactly go into JoAnn's Fabrics and pick up a pattern in those days, and store-bought clothes are rather pricey. No. Your boots, you'll have to figure out a way to make do, repair the soles if necessary. You find a trunk of old, out of style dresses in the cellar, but none of them fit. You get practical and piece dresses together, trying to find things that don't clash too much, and try to make them look somewhat presentable.

Food. Where do you get your butter? Your milk? Your eggs and your meat and your bread? Where are your vegetables? You'll have to start a garden; until then, it's spending money at the market. You could probably afford a few hens for eggs, since feeding them wouldn't be too pricey and good hens are productive, but a cow and a pig? Forget it. You're still trying to figure out how to put food in the bellies of three people and a growing baby; you don't need to worry about the cost of grain and hay. So for the time being it's more expensive than it's worth to buy the livestock. You keep buying your milk and meat at the market. Do you know how to make butter? What about soap? You don't have a pig to slaughter in the fall, so you don't have the fat you need to boil in with lye to make soap. You'll have to buy it. Firewood's another big chore, since you don't have a wagon to haul it back into town. Candles - do you have the supplies and the knowledge to make them? You'll have to buy them if you don't, and oil for the lamps. Just one expense after another that you never really thought about before. And you still have to get that shop up and running. What about when winter comes? Do you know how to prepare food and can it? Do you even have the equipment for it? Can you afford it? Can you afford to NOT afford it come winter?

Now let's look at the child - do you know how to raise a child? Do you have any good role models in your life to emulate? Do you know what normal interaction in a family should be like? There were so many lies, how do you know if you're doing it right, or if you're becoming like them? And what of the child? Will he hate you when he finds out the truth of who he is, and what you are? And you're lonely. There's no one you can really talk to, it seems, and you're proud. You don't want people to know about all the darkness you keep locked in a deep little place in your heart, the fears, the doubts, the anger. You used to have all answers and no questions. Now you have no answers and nothing but questions, and no one to really ask.

You're alive.

But will you survive the storm?

GAH! Somebody tell my muse to slow down! ...or tell Xellos to stop bribing it with whatever the hell it is he bribes my muse with.

I'm not even sure how I'm gonna manage doing this pic I've just been mused to do. -_- It's not even just one pic. I'm gonna have to make a bunch of new X/F fanarts for a frickin' collage to do this. -_-;;;

I might be drawing, but first, last, and always, I'm a writer at heart. My muse works because it has stories to tell, and this is no different.

If you like themes that run along the lines of D/s (Dominant/submissive) in the BD/SM Spectrum, but not pornish, that's what I'm seeing for this. Xellos as I see him is such a possessive, controlling Dominant. And Filia... oy. Every little personality trait that peeked out in TRY, she's a true submissive, through and through. It's a good match, actually.

That's why I always say that if X/F is handled correctly, it could so easily rank among the greatest love stories ever told, even if Mazoku might not be capable of love as a human comprehends it. (Note: I didn't say Mazoku are incapable of love, period. But he's not human - why should his emotions be defined on a human's terms? I believe he IS capable of love, in his own way.)